


Say You Miss Me (Even If It’s a Lie)

by gettingaphdinlarry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Best Friends, Emotional Sex, Emotions, Established Relationship, Friendship/Love, M/M, Multi, Past Relationship(s), Phone Sex, Sex, Threesome - M/M/M, and learn a lot about themselves, but it's not, but they all love each other, group phone sex, it's complicated and worth it, no matter how I tag the relationships, nobody cheats, someone's going to disagree, which sounds impossible
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-30
Updated: 2016-08-30
Packaged: 2018-08-11 22:45:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7910500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gettingaphdinlarry/pseuds/gettingaphdinlarry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because of Liam, Harry had the Louis he loved.</p><p>Harry sent up a silent prayer of thanks and then cleared his throat. “Need you Liam, can’t take care of him like you can.”</p><p>Liam inhaled deeply and groaned. “Short strokes, don’t pull out much at all, just deeper and deeper. Please.”</p><p>“Yes,” Harry said. “I can, I can…”</p><p>::<br/>When a lonely, homesick Liam calls his best friend Louis for some moral support, it might be Harry who best understands what he needs. He needs Louis.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Say You Miss Me (Even If It’s a Lie)

_Ring, ring…_

Harry leaned over and glanced at Louis’ phone. “Lou! Some weird number, probably Liam! My hands are wet!” Harry dropped the grapes he was washing in the sink, wiped his hands on the large tea towel tied around his waist, and picked up the phone.

“Coming!” Louis yelled. Harry heard shuffling, a bang, and an ‘ouch, fucker!’

Louis limped into the room, rubbing his knee and holding his other hand out for his phone. “Goddammit, whacked my knee on the end of the banister ’cause I tripped.”

“Quick! Answer it!”

“You can answer my mobile, you know,” Louis said. “Hello?… Liam!”

“Hi Liam!” Harry called out.

“Hi Harry!” Liam yelled back, making Louis reel and hold the phone away from himself.

Harry grinned as Louis chatted away about the time difference, the weather, and their siblings. He finished washing the grapes and put them on the plate with cheese, salami, crackers and pitas, cucumbers, cherry tomatoes and tzatziki sauce. Harry carried the plate to the table and touched Louis on the back lightly with his other hand.

Louis turned and raised his eyebrows at Harry twice, following him to the table. “Harry and I were about to sit down to eat dinner. Can we put you on speaker?” Louis laughed at Liam’s response and hit the speaker button.

“How’s D.C.?” Harry asked, making a cheese, salami, and cracker sandwich.

“It’s alright, it’s OK!” There was a pause and Louis frowned at the phone, then caught Harry’s eye. “I…hate it. I hate it.”

“You just got there, what’s wrong?” Louis asked.

“Everything! The weather is crap, the food is terrible, and I just really want some fish and chips. The place is expensive as fuck but there’s nothing to do—”

“Don’t they have a ton of museums?” Harry asked, dipping a chunk of pita bread into the sauce.

“Seen ’em.”

“All of them?”

“I think I’m missing, like, the Postal Museum. And they’re all overrun by people. The dating scene sucks, the minute I open my mouth people ask dumb questions, like have I read fucking _Harry Potter_. Bloody stupid,” Liam snapped.

“Well,” Louis said with a chuckle, “have you?”

“Fuck off.”

“Can you take some weekend trips, get out of the area?” Harry asked. He looked at Louis and shrugged. Seemed like a good idea. That’s what they did when London drove them nuts.

“Only if I want to spend half the weekend in the car. On the wrong side of the road. Oh, and for a city that thinks it’s so cosmopolitan, let me tell you about the tube.”

“Mm?”

“Fire.” Liam’s voice was flat.

“What?” Louis asked.

“Fire. It catches fire.”

Harry shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair. “What catches fire?”

“The tracks. They catch fire. There’s some debate on what counts as fire, does smoke count as fire—”

“Where there’s smoke there’s fire,” Harry said.

“Right, there are three or four fires a week. A week. Can you imagine? There’s actually a website. Is Metro on fire dot com.”

“There is not,” Louis said.

“Look it up.”

“That’s…that sounds not safe at all,” Harry said.

“Can you join some sort of, I dunno, social group and meet some people?” Louis suggested.

“For what? My contract is only two years—oh God, two years dealing with these arseholes—or _assholes._ Don’t even get me started on the accents. But no, I don’t even want to meet people because this place is so full of social and ladder climbers. All they care about is what your job is and what you can do for them. Ugh!”

“That can’t be all of them,” Louis said, his voice full of care.

“It’s all of them!” Liam roared. “The first thing they ask is ‘what do you do?’ I just… I know the three-month mark is the hard point, and I’ve been here four, and I hate it!”

Harry pointed to the last cucumber slices on the plate and Louis took them and smiled. Harry picked up their napkins and dishes and whispered, “I’ll clean up.”

Louis nodded. “Hey, Liam, gonna take you off speaker phone for a bit, OK?” He changed the phone over and brushed his lips across Harry’s cheek. “Thanks for cleaning up, sweetie.” He walked to the bedroom, making conciliatory noises the whole way there.

Harry cleared the dishes and filled the sink with hot, soapy water and started washing. Louis didn’t seem very concerned, and Louis had known him longer, but… Harry was worried. Liam didn’t sound like himself. He was only that angry when the Tories won some important election and Harry didn’t like this at all. This was bad, bad, bad.

Liam was Louis’ friend—and ex. His first love, actually, but friends since they were in year three. Long broken up and comfortably back into friends-only territory by the time Harry’d entered the picture, he and Liam had moved from uneasy distrust to a truce to actual friendship since then.

When Liam announced he’d be moving to D.C. for two years to head up a new branch of his company, Harry was concerned. Louis thought he was overreacting. Liam had travelled a lot, it was a fantastic opportunity, and he was great at meeting people.

Harry hadn’t told Louis he wasn’t just anxious about Liam; he was worried about Louis, too.

Harry was in the middle of rinsing and ruminating when Louis’ voice started carrying from the other room. “Yeah, I remember… And I loved you, too. But we’re not the same now…”

Harry’s ears perked up.

Louis walked into the kitchen, poked Harry’s shoulder and waved toward the shopping list pad they kept. Louis flipped to a blank page and scribbled on it.

_He’s flirting with me._

Harry raised his eyebrows and shrugged. ‘OK,’ he mouthed.

Louis’ eyes grew wide. “Yeah, I get it,” he said to Liam. Harry frowned and wiped his hands on a dish towel. Louis wasn’t even listening. It was one thing not to listen to him, they lived together, but to ignore an international phone call?

 _WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?_ Louis underlined his words twice and jabbed his finger against the paper.

Harry grinned. “Flirt back,” he whispered.

Louis looked confused and picked up the pen again. Quickly, Harry plucked it out of Louis’ hand, took the paper, turned it over and started writing.

“I…wish I was there, too,” Louis said, his voice rough on the last word.

Harry didn’t look at Louis but he nodded and smiled. Yes, Louis was getting it. Harry kept writing. Finally, he read over his note once more before handing it to Louis.

“Hold—hold on, Liam, just…I need a second.” Louis held his mobile against his stomach to muffle the sound. He scanned the note and his jaw dropped.

Harry leaned against the counter. “So?”

“You’re serious.”

“I’m serious.”

“Given our…history?”

“I know your history,” Harry said.

“Can you…”

“Stay here? Yeah.”

“Um, no. Can you check in later?”

Harry tugged his lower lip. “You sure?”

Louis took a deep breath. “Please?”

Harry nodded. “Go, Lou. He needs you.”

Louis touched Harry’s chin and tilted it towards his face. Harry closed his eyes and Louis’ lips brushed against his, light and soft. “Us. He needs us.” His breath passed over Harry’s cheek and he kissed his jawline. “And I need you. Don’t hide.”

Harry opened his eyes slowly to find Louis watching him. He held his gaze. “I won’t, love.”

Louis brought the phone back to his ear. “Sorry, just needed to take care of something. I can get comfortable now.” He shuffled backwards toward the doorway, watching Harry as he went. Finally, he turned and walked away, his voice fading with his footsteps.

Harry pushed the note to the far end of the counter and touched the rinse water with his fingertips. Ripples moved to the edges of the sink, the concentric circles crossing each other, weaving together and apart.

Harry rubbed the back of his neck with his dry hand and picked up a plate, plunging it into the lukewarm water.

Louis had been out of town for work one week when Harry had called Liam, invited him out to drinks. They’d hashed things out over pints and darts. They talked about Liam and Louis’ long friendship, how Louis was Liam’s first love, which sister Harry would need to win over—Lottie—if he wanted the rest to fall into line.

At the end of the night, Liam clapped Harry hard on the back. “He likes you. Don’t fuck this up,” he hissed into Harry’s ear.

Harry squared his shoulders. “I don’t intend to, ever.”

“Good. Then we’re on the same page.”

They’d agreed they wouldn’t tell Louis they met. Harry hadn’t told, and Louis was a terrible secret keeper, so Liam must have kept his word.

But now Liam was gone. And Louis tried to act like it was alright, like their friends Zayn and Niall filled the gap, but Harry knew better. Liam was Louis’ touchstone. He was a grounding force, reminding Louis of who he’d been, where he’d come from.

Harry couldn’t do that for him. Not the same way Liam could. He didn’t have the history.

The flatware was rinsed and Harry put it on the drying mat. He pulled the plug from the sink and watched the water swirl away. He dried his hands and filled the kettle, then wiped down the counters and the table and pulled some lamb from the freezer so it could thaw overnight.

Harry took their favourite mugs from the cupboard. He poked the nose on Louis’ squirrel mug and checked that his own bee mug was still crack-free. Satisfied, he dropped teabags in them, looping the labels around their handles several times.

Harry walked around the counter and picked up the note he’d written. _Liam is scared and lonely and he needs you. If he flirts with you, let him. If he needs you to flirt back, do it. Go with it. I get it. I’m not mad. He’s homesick. Fix it. At least for today. You’re the only one who can._

He folded up the note and put it in his pocket.

The click of the kettle turning off startled Harry. He thought he had more time. He prepared the tea and took a deep breath. Louis had said to come.

So Harry went.

***

Harry put his ear to the bedroom door and listened.

“I would kiss you, too… Yeah, I remember what you tasted like. Those menthol cigarettes you smoked.” Louis chuckled. “I know, you smoke regular ones now, but I never tasted those.”

Harry put his tea on the floor and knocked on the door gently.

“Oh, Liam, Harry’s at the door… No, it’s OK with him, he knows we’re talking… Yeah, really. He understands… But he would get it, if you need for it to just be us, I mean… OK.”

Harry picked up the mug as Louis’ voice came closer. Finally, the door opened and Harry held out the squirrel mug. Louis was shirtless, his jeans slung low on his hips.

Louis gestured for Harry to come in and took the tea, raising it slightly toward Harry in a signal of thanks.

“Liam, it’s… He’s fine… Are you? OK?”

Harry waited at the door and watched Louis, who went to his side of the bed, putting the mug on his nightstand. Louis patted the bed next to him, and Harry copied his movements, unsure. Was he fine? It was one thing to tell Louis to do this and another to watch it. Hear it.

‘Please,’ Louis mouthed. Harry sat against the headboard, holding the warm ceramic between his hands, the heat seeping down into his bones. Louis stretched out on the bed, rolled on his side, facing Harry. “Are you saying…you’d like to kiss me?” he said, his voice crisp and reedy. He brushed his hand over Harry’s hip, until Harry met his gaze. “Because I might like that.”

Harry looked away from Louis, but his eyes betrayed him. They dragged slowly up Louis’ body, finally stopping to meet his again.

Harry sipped his tea and remembered the first time Louis had kissed him, both of them tipsy on a snowy day. They’d been holding hands, coming home from a café, and Louis had suddenly pulled hard, making Harry fall off balance. He’d caught him, cupped his cheeks, and kissed him. The iciness of his nose pressed into the heat of Harry’s cheeks, his lips soft, tasting like the peppermint syrup he’d swirled into his coffee.

Harry tangled his fingers into Louis’ and squeezed his hand. Louis immediately squeezed back, flashing Harry a quick smile.

“Yeah, like that… You know how much I loved it when you kissed me right there.”

Harry loosened his hand, touched the spot where Louis’ pulse throbbed on his neck, and raised an eyebrow. Louis smiled and nodded. Of course it was that spot. Harry dropped his hand and looked away, gazing at the painting Louis had picked up on their last holiday. Some late autumn morning in the fjords of Norway, a soft fog covering everything.

“Oh, that’s the sort of moaning I always wanted to hear.” Louis’ voice dropped and Harry could hear something, tinny and distant through the mobile.

Hearing Liam made Harry’s stomach jolt. He twisted and opened his nightstand drawer. He grabbed his journal and flipped it to the last page. His hand moved over the paper smoothly and he held it up, open for Louis to see. _This isn’t about me. I shouldn’t be here._

Louis shook his head and covered Harry’s hand his with own, stopping him from leaving. He took Harry’s journal and wrote. _If you need to leave, you can, but I want you to stay. Please?_

Harry nodded. _I’ll try._

Harry scooted lower onto the bed and tipped his head back so it was touching the headboard. He closed his eyes. He wasn’t mad at Lou. Or Liam. But this was their call, their intimacy, their hist—

“Liam, can I put you on speaker?” Louis brushed his fingers over Harry’s lips. “He’s here… OK.” Louis put the phone on speaker and laid it on the bed between him and Harry. “You’re on speaker. You don’t need to be quiet.” Liam inhaled a shaky sounding breath and Louis pressed on. “I loved it when you’d kiss me, you were always so…solid. Do you have a bit of scruff, Liam?”

Liam laughed, lower-pitched and richer than Harry was used to. “Yeah.”

“Fuck.” Louis’ voice was low and strong.

“Always left your skin a bit raw,” Liam said.

“I know, I loved— _love_ —” Louis said. Harry inhaled sharply.

Liam groaned, loud and long. Harry’s eyes flew open and he felt a tug in his groin. “Damn,” he whispered. Louis nodded and grinned.

“Love it when you kiss me like that,” Louis said.

“You always felt so good, Lou.”

“Felt?” His voice lilted at the end. Harry glanced at Louis, whose lips curled into a smile. His own cheeks burned, hearing Louis tease Liam, and he rubbed his neck, suddenly warm.

“Feel,” Liam whispered. “Feel so good.”

Harry nodded, though he wasn’t sure why. He rolled onto his side, and watched Louis. Liam was right; Lou always felt good.

“You do too, kissing my neck like that. Making it sensitive.” Louis rolled his head to the side, exposing his neck, and Harry laid his thumb across the vein, then dragged his thumbnail against it, leaving short scratches right where his heart beat. Louis reached up and loosely laid his hand over Harry’s, rubbing the back of his knuckles.

“Would pinch your nipple next,” Liam said. Harry’s eyebrows rose. Exactly what he was thinking. “Roll it around between my fingers.”

Louis’ eyes drifted closed and Harry’s followed. He relaxed into the duvet and listened to his lover and the man who knew his life in a way Harry never could, never would. “You know how much I like that.”

“I do—”

“Would press up against you, kiss your temples, move along the edge of your hair…” Louis sighed. “You’re always so ticklish.”

Liam laughed, a little higher-pitched this time, the kind of laugh Harry was used to, the laugh he missed. A heavy, full heat spread between Harry’s shoulder blades and he felt himself unwind.

“I miss you, your taste, your smell,” Liam said.

“You know my smell, it’s the same it’s always been. Same as that aftershave you gave me for my birthday that year.” Hmm, Harry had no idea. Well, Liam did have good taste.

“Lou, I want to spoon you.”

“Mmm,” Louis said, not moving. “OK.”

Harry looked at Louis quizzically and gestured for him to move. When he didn’t, Harry pushed his shoulder, rolling him over so Liam could spoon him and he could study the contours of Louis’ spine. He picked up the phone and put it in front of Louis, then left his hand on his shoulder, wanting to touch but not interrupt.

“Let me press up against you, kiss your neck and shoulders.”

Louis shivered even though it wasn’t cold. “Your chest feels so good against me, Li.”

“Yeah, you know what else feels good?”

“What?”

“My cock pressed against your arse…baby.”

“Baby,” Louis groaned and curled into himself a little, his breathing shifting, heavier. “Let me touch you.”

“All you have to do is reach behind you,” Liam said. “Like I am now, hand over your jeans. How long are you going to keep these on?”

Louis squirmed and Harry’s fingers dug into the meat of his shoulder, bracing him. “When you going to take them off?”

“Now.”

Louis looked over his shoulder at Harry and raised an eyebrow. Harry understood and nodded. “Let me take yours off, too, and your pants.” He rolled on his back and Harry sat up, weight on his hip.

“You still wearing briefs?” Liam asked.

Louis laughed, raspy and bright. “Is that how this is going to be?”

“Are you?”

“Yeah.”

“Black?” Liam asked.

“Always.”

“I know. Still haven’t tried anything new? C’mon, Lou…” Liam chastised.

Harry poked Louis’ shoulder hard. “He wants you to try something else, too!” he whispered. “Listen to him!”

Louis shook his head at Harry and ignored Liam. “Gonna push your clothes off, leave them in a heap on the floor.”

Liam exhaled heavily. “Good. Jeans off yet?”

“Almost,” Louis said, staring at Harry.

Harry slid his palms over his own jeans, trying to hide the way his fingers were shaking. What the hell? He’d done this for years. Harry undid Louis’ button and then his zip, the teeth surprisingly loud. Louis lifted his bum and Harry yanked off his jeans, leaving them at the bottom of the bed. Louis’d kick them out of the way later, probably.

Or not. Who knew what Liam was going to do, how Louis would move for him.

Harry settled behind Louis again, close enough to feel the heat radiating off of him. Light filtered through the blinds, leaving light and dark lines across Louis’ skin, bending and curving with the slopes of his body. Harry reached out to trace a stripe across his hip, then dropped his hand to the duvet.

“They’re off,” Louis said. He was quiet.

“Mine, too. Want to slip my hand under your pants, rub the head of your cock.”

Louis groaned and touched himself, while Harry pressed his hand over his own clothes, trying to calm his dick down. He was going to need a long shower after this.

“Is…” Liam cleared his throat. “Harry’s still there?”

Louis’ hand stilled and his spine stiffened. Harry scooted back a bit, Louis’ body heat fading, replaced with cooler air. Space, they need their own space, he shouldn’t be here.

“He is,” Louis said slowly, cautiously.

“Can Har—” Liam’s voice broke and when he spoke again it was muffled and a bit fuzzy, like he was hiding something. “Want…”

Harry’s breath caught in his throat. Please, please, please Liam.

“Want you to really,” Liam paused and finally coughed. When he spoke again, his voice was thin and tight. “Feel it.”

Harry squeezed his eyes shut, trying to stop the sting of tears.

“Har—we can do that, Liam. I…” Louis’ hand was heavy on Harry’s waist, pulling at him. Louis tried again, his voice firmer. “ _I_ want to feel you, too. Want to wrap my fingers around _you_.”

Harry batted Louis’ hand away and scrambled off the bed so he could remove his clothes, leaving them in a pile next to the bed. His back to Louis’, he took a steadying breath and shook his head, loosening his shoulders. His hand trailed through the auburn hair above his dick and then once over himself. Fuck. Harry dropped onto the bed and pressed the long length of his naked body against Louis’ back.

Louis sank into him. “Li—Liam…” Harry’s fingers reached under Louis’ waistband and stroked the blunt, soft head of his cock. “You feel amazing.”

“So do you.” Liam made a whimpering noise and Harry wanted to find a blanket and some tea for him. Wrap him up in wool, protect him. “Your hand on my cock feels so good.”

When Louis’ hand slid between their bodies, Harry arched into him, grinding his dick against Louis’ palm. His open mouth pressed against Louis’ back so he could exhale hard but silently, leaving a wet circle of breath behind.

“You still like a loose grip?” Louis asked.

“Mm,” Liam said.

Louis curled his fingers around Harry, too loose, too light. Harry shifted, trying to get more. Louis shook his head, making the hair at the nape of his neck brush against Harry’s forehead. He sighed. Patience, patience.

“You’re so hard,” Louis said. “You feel so good under my hand, thick and smooth.”

Liam groaned, his voice creaking. “You too. Can you—”

“Ram up against you?” Louis pushed his arse against Harry, who nudged the fabric of his briefs. He cursed Liam for leaving them on.

“Dammit, why did I leave your pants on?” Liam said. “Take them off, take them off.”

Harry grinned and pulled Louis’ pants down past his knees. Louis thrashed his legs until they sailed across the room, falling onto the floor like a deflated parachute.

“Done,” Louis said. “Now, let me ram into you again.” He drove against Harry with a jolt, making Harry’s dick brush up against the cleft of him.

Noise rumbled out of Harry’s throat and he bit down on his cheek hard to silence it.

“That, yes, that.” Liam’s voice seemed to come through the hazy filter of a memory. “So…hungry.”

“Christ,” Louis said.

Harry rested his forehead against Louis’ spine and waited through the long silence that followed. His cock was full, and Louis’ light touch was making him more sensitive than normal. Every once in a while, in no set rhythm Harry could figure out, Louis let go for a brief moment, then pushed himself hard against Harry.

“Hey, Lou?”

“Yeah, Li?”

“You still hate being fingered?”

Harry grinned and started nodding his head. Yes, yes indeed. Louis laughed loudly. “Bloody awful!”

“Then I get to rim you.”

Louis inhaled and a moan started low inside of him. Harry felt it travel up the back of his spine. When Louis replied, his voice cracked. “Yes, please.”

“Onto your stomach.”

Louis adjusted, nodding. “Yeah, yeah, my stomach.” He wrapped his arms around his pillow and turned his head to the side, facing the phone. Harry slid off his back and waited.

“I know I should take my time, stretch it out, drive you crazy—”

“Don’t have to,” Louis mumbled. “Already crazy.”

“—but I just want to taste you. Spread your knees wide, lift that arse up.”

Louis pushed his face into the pillow and spread his knees wide. Harry’s mouth watered and he situated himself between Louis’ legs, rubbing the back of his thighs. He was overwhelmed. Louis said, “Want you, Liam, please. Please.”

“Let me wet my thumb first.” Louis groaned in response, and Harry licked his thumb. “Spread you open”—Harry wrapped his fingers around the fullness of Louis’ bum—“and brush right across your rim. Back and forth, too soft.”

Harry tipped his head to the side and tried to figure out the amount of pressure Liam was using. When Louis ground back against Harry, he knew he’d found it. He pushed his palms down to hold Louis’ hips in place, keeping his thumb light against the puckered skin of his arse.

Louis whimpered, “You’re so mean.”

“You love it.”

“I do,” Louis said, nodding rapidly, his hair falling against his cheek. “More, more, and touch yourself, but don’t come yet.”

“Fuck,” Liam groaned. “I’ve gotta taste you, Lou. Let me?”

“Yes, yes,” Louis babbled until Harry’s tongue touched his skin, making him gasp. “You feel so good.”

“Your taste, Lou, clean with that…musky richness you have. Let me eat you out, can you handle it a bit rough? Want to…God, Louis I…didn’t mean to—this wasn’t why I called, but I don’t want to stop.”

Louis’ words tumbled over each other. “Don’t stop, hard, hard.” Harry buried his face into Louis and licked him, much harsher than he normally would, as Louis writhed beneath him, muttering. “Can you, can you, can you just hold me, right on your tongue?”

Harry’s brow furrowed. What?

“Push right up against you…” Oh! Harry thrust his tongue wide and flat against Louis. Liam inhaled long and slow and said, his voice strong and his words nearly staccato, “Wait for you to—”

“Li, I, you, yeah…” A guttural moan vibrated from within Louis and his whole body started rocking back and forth. Harry wrapped his arms around Louis’ thighs and held on, moving with him, following, hoping that’s what Liam was waiting for.

“I am so hard right now. And if I know you—”

“Hard.” Louis choked back a sob. “You know me, you do. You—”

“Your dick’s hanging heavy and full, the tip of it rubbing against the bed ’cause you can’t wait—”

“Right, please let—” Louis’ voice was raw and breathless.

“Against the bed.”

Louis’ knees gave out. Harry’s elbows were pinned hard between the bed and Louis when his weight fell flat onto the sheets.

“Fuck!” Harry blurted.

“Oh God, Harry. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t—”

“No, no, Liam, no!” Harry extracted his limbs and crawled up the bed, so the phone could pick up his voice better. “No, Liam, I’m not mad. You, it’s just, Louis moved so quickly and I’ve never.” Harry stopped and swallowed hard, raking one hand through his hair before wiping his chin off. “He’s never…um, done that before. For me, I mean.”

Harry looked at Louis, who was moaning into the pillow, his arse still moving up and down against the bed, slowly. An image of a pulsating jellyfish flashed through his mind. Louis was a jellyfish. How had Harry never seen that before?

When Liam spoke, his voice was shaky. “I’m so sorry Harry, he’s yours, I know. This isn’t what I called for, I swear, I never wanted—”

Louis froze, his undulations stopping entirely, and he whipped around to look at Harry, his eyes wide. Harry cringed and held a finger up so Louis wouldn’t speak. ‘Wait.’ Harry took two shallow breaths, thinking.

“Liam, I’m not mad, believe me, please. But can you—gimme a second.” Harry put a hand on Louis’ shoulder, and then straddled his waist and leaned forward, his whole body rubbing against Louis’ back. He flipped the phone over so the speaker was against the bed. “Love, love,” he said quietly, “Lou.”

“I know, he’s scared.”

“Are you… I told you to do this. I… We can stop here, do you need to?”

Louis rolled to the side just a bit, rocking Harry, who swayed above him. Harry rose to his knees, expecting Louis wanted to roll over. Instead, he rolled onto his side and propped himself up on one elbow. He patted his side and Harry sat down again, spine lifted. Louis looked up at him and spoke quietly. “We can. Do you want to?” He traced circles on the inside of Harry’s thigh with his free hand. “I won’t be mad if we have to stop, I promise.”

“No, I meant everything I wrote, and I want to stay. But I wanted to check, because this is new for us.” Harry rubbed Louis’ free shoulder, grinding his thumb into the knot, the one that never went away. “And I don’t want to make everything weird, or worse for Liam.”

Louis leaned back into Harry’s touch. “He and I talked when you were in the kitchen… I think he’s OK, maybe worried about us? I…I feel really good. And I don’t want to stop. I also don’t want you to be hurt. Now, or later. Because this,” Louis waved his hand in the air, over the two of them and the phone, “is great. But this?” Louis gestured to the space between them. “This is _everything_.” 

Harry drooped over Louis, wrapping his arms around his shoulders in an awkward hug, and pressed their cheeks together. “The only thing making me upset is that I think Liam’s crying, and we’re not there with him. I hate it. He doesn’t deserve it.”

Louis kissed the inside of Harry’s arm. “You’re… I don’t know how I snagged you, sweetie, but I’m so glad I did.”

“Me, too,” Harry said, moving so Louis could flop back onto the pillow and Harry could stretch alongside him, hand on the small of his back, one leg snaked around Louis’. He flipped the phone back over and smiled. “Liam, are you still there? Sorry, we just… Are you there?”

“I am,” Liam said, his voice watery. “I am.”

“Liam, are you crying?” Harry closed his eyes and imagined Liam, whose eyes crinkled when he laughed. Liam, who could cut Louis down to size in a single remark, and repair it all in the next one. Liam, who once got drunk enough to tell Harry all about Louis’ childhood phobia of school toilets, their flush so strong he was afraid of getting sucked in, leaving Louis angry at them both for days. Harry’s voice was cashmere. “Liam, please don’t cry.”

“I miss home.”

“I know. Home misses you, too.” Harry listened as Liam sniffed and shifted. “What do you need?” When there was no answer, Harry cleared his throat and spoke a little louder. “What do you need, Li? Please?”

“I need him to…” Liam sobbed again and Harry’s heart ached. He looked at Louis, whose eyes were soft, his brow lined with worry.

“Tell me. Us.” Harry’s brushed the hair along Louis’ temple out of the way, feeling the damp heat of his skin. “Please tell us.”

"I just… I need Louis to say he misses me.” Liam’s voice was small and his words came out in a rush. Louis pinched his eyes closed and Harry stroked his cheek. “Even if it's a lie, I just… I need to hear it."

Louis’ eyes were shiny and wet when he looked at Harry, asking one more time for permission. Or maybe forgiveness.

Neither were needed. Harry missed Liam, too. His rambunctious energy, his presence in their home, his place in Louis’ sphere.

Who Louis was when he was with Liam.

Harry nodded.

“I do miss you.” Louis adjusted, bracing himself up on his elbows, his lips close to the phone. “It’s not a lie. I miss you every day. I want you here, not in D.C., with _assholes_ and a tube that catches fire.” Liam laughed sharply and Louis spoke simply, a grin dancing on his face. “Please don’t die in a tube fire.”

Liam laughed again. “I’ll try not to.”

Harry chuckled and smoothed his hand over Louis’ back, then kissed his shoulder. Louis’ voice softened and he repeated himself. “I miss you, I promise.”

“Can I…” Liam took a deep breath and tried again. “Can I, I want…”

“Tell me,” Harry said. “Tell me.”

“Harry, are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“I want…need…to feel him. Under me, around me, on me.”

Louis exhaled quickly and moaned Liam’s name. Harry nuzzled against Louis’ neck and kissed him, rubbing his cock, which was full and throbbing, against his thigh. Louis turned his head and kissed Harry, slow and deep and quiet.

When Louis finally pulled away, Harry swallowed hard and held his eye. “He wants you, too. Tell me what to do.”

Louis stroked Harry’s hip and whispered, “I love you.”

“I know,” Harry whispered with a wink and a grin.

Liam said, “How do you usually, I mean, what position do you normally use?”

“When I top? Face to face, him underneath.”

“Then do that.”

Harry shook his head. “No, what do _you_ want?”

“I want him like his is now, flat on the bed, arse up. Can you get on top of him like that?”

“I can.” Harry moved so he was sitting, his fingertips running over the arc of Louis’ body. “Hope you can hear him, he’s moaning, a little too quietly, waiting for you.”

“Yeah, I can.” Liam’s voice was softer, easier. “I need lube, lots of lube. Rub it over me, him.” Harry reached for the bottle on the nightstand and rubbed it over his dick, flinching at the wetness. “Would warm it up between my hands, first, Lou.”

Harry followed Liam’s direction and Louis said, “Liam. I need you.”

“I’m crawling on top of you, my cock pressed up against you, hands planted on the bed. Remember?”

“Can feel it,” Louis said, as Harry positioned himself. “You. Can feel you.”

“Let me press my dick up against you,” Liam said. Harry pushed his dick against Louis and dropped his head. This was too much and not enough. “Relax, relax.”

“I’m trying.” Louis sank a bit deeper into the mattress, his shoulder blades widening, loosening and sliding apart.

“Relax,” Liam whispered. “Feel me kissing your back, your spine. Relax for me, baby.”

Harry did as he was told, his body aching to get inside of Louis, feel the hot heat of him, thrust against him fast and rough.

“You feel so good, Liam. I’m ready, your tongue, it…was perfect.”

“Let me push into—”

“Tell him how, Liam. He’s…” Louis stopped speaking and buried his face into the pillow, shaking his head a few times.

Harry put his lips close to Louis’ ear. “You can be honest, I won’t get upset. Too fucking turned on to get upset. Promise.”

Louis mouthed ‘sorry’ at Harry and said, “He’s not you, he doesn’t move like you.”

“Slow. Smooth. Wait."

Harry pushed into Louis slowly and held himself in place. Louis nodded and hissed. “Like that…”

“Gonna wait, tell me when you’re ready,” Liam said. “Don’t want it to hurt.”

“I’m so full. Give me a second.” Louis started breathing deeply, and with each breath Harry felt his body shift, tiny movements Harry wasn’t sure he’d ever noticed before. They travelled through Louis like a wave, as his neck relaxed, then his shoulders. His spine lengthened on an inhale, as if he’d drawn air in between his vertebrae. The backs of Louis’ thighs twitched and his legs dropped deeper into the sheets.

“Liam,” Louis slurred. His cheek was pressed against the pillow and the concentration Harry was used to seeing was gone, replaced by a slack jaw, and parted, full lips.

“You ready, baby?”

“Almost,” Louis murmured, a smile settling into place.

Louis’ hips spread on their own accord, his whole body unfurling like a fern.

“Oh my God,” Harry whispered, his gaze tracing over his lover’s body in surprise.

“That’s it. He’s ready,” Liam said. “Slowly, back and forth, even… Can you do that?”

Harry’s shoulders burned as he held his weight up. He ground his teeth together and pulled back, Louis’ bum lifting a bit, as if pulled by his cock. “I’m trying,” Harry said between hard breaths.

“Don’t pull too far back, just… In and out, nice and steady, easy and smooth,” Liam chanted over and over, his voice getting a little quieter with each turn. “Nice and steady, even and smooth…”

Harry had to work not to drive hard and fast into Louis, the way he wanted to, the way he did most of the time. He focused on Liam’s voice, caught his rhythm and followed it. “Nice and steady, even and smooth,” Harry whispered.

“That’s it, nice and steady—”

“Even and smooth,” Harry said.

“You… You both…” Louis started. “Jesus, you… I never imagined…”  He rutted against the bed under Harry, slack and uninhibited, but not enough to break Harry’s movements.

“Nice and steady, even and smooth,” they sang together.

Harry settled into the duet, staying a fraction of a second behind Liam so he could lead. Occasionally he surprised Harry and Louis both, drawing the words out—Louis moaned and wriggled under them—or speaking a bit faster, making Louis growl.

“Baby, you’re amazing,” Liam said while Harry continued his lines.

“Love you, Liam,” Louis replied, wetness streaking his cheeks. “So much.”

“Even and smooth.” The pain in Harry’s arms was forgotten in the ease he found in moving with his lover. “Nice and steady.”

“Can you lift up for me a bit? You need to touch yourself,” Liam said.

Harry fought to keep the pace as Louis’ body rose and then fell under him. “Touching myself, damn, so close, honey.”

“‘Honey…’ Been too long.”

“I know, I know,” Louis agreed.

Liam sighed and when he spoke, Harry could hear the grin behind his words. “Keeping it smooth, but pressing harder against you, driving your cock against your hand.”

Harry pushed his weight into Louis, making him groan. “Yeah, again, again.”

“Yeah,” Liam said, falling silent as Harry drove into Louis over and over.

“Li, honey, honey, I’m… I can’t…” Louis’ body drew up, his spine straining, taut, and the heat of him curled around Harry. “Please.”

“I love you so much, Lou, the way you feel, so hot and tight around me, under me.”

“Honey, honey, Li,” Louis panted, unable to catch his breath.

“Yeah, baby?” When Louis didn’t answer, Liam continued. “Love the way you open and close, like every time you’re finding something new, deeper inside of you—”

Under Harry’s weight and Liam’s words, Louis jerked and leapt, fast and short, then long and slow, over and over. “Oh God, oh God,” he moaned, his body pulsing. Louis’ back rose and fell under Harry as he caught his breath, until he was calm enough to move his hand, wiping it on the sheets. “Jesus.”

“You’re amazing, Lou.”

“Fill me up, Liam. First.”

Harry squeezed his eyes shut and bobbed his head. Fucking Christ, Liam had better be close—

“Yeah, me next. I can still feel you clenching around me,” Liam said.

“You feel incredible.”

“Let me in, deep, deep,” Liam said.

Harry bit his lip and dropped to his elbows, changing the leverage so he could grind his hips against Louis. Louis exhaled sharply and then gripped Harry, a strong squeeze before opening again. “So fucking deep.”

“Short strokes now, baby, you know…”

“I know, I know,” Louis whimpered. “I remember.”

Harry exhaled hard against Louis back. “Fuck, Jesus, fuck,” he mumbled, a little louder than he intended.

“Hang on, sweetie, just a little longer,” Louis said.

“Harry…you OK?”

Harry let out a strangled cry. “Liam, Christ, you’re…Liam.”

“He’s amazing,” Louis said.

Harry nodded. He was, he was.

Liam had taught Louis how to love and how to fight. And when they didn’t work—when they wanted different things at different times, when they realized they were better friends than lovers—they stopped speaking to each other for a season and a half before coming together again, before they pushed each other back out into the world. He was there for Louis when he cycled through boyfriends and one night stands. Liam was his shoulder to cry on, his voice of reason. He padded Louis’ falls and stitched up his wounds with his words.

Because of Liam, Harry had the Louis he loved.

Harry sent up a silent prayer of thanks and then cleared his throat. “Need you Liam, can’t take care of him like you can.”

Liam inhaled deeply and groaned. “Short strokes, don’t pull out much at all, just deeper and deeper. Please.”

“Yes,” Harry said. “I can, I can…”

Harry heard the fast beat of Liam tugging on his dick while Louis’ arse tugged at his cock, grasping and releasing around him.

“Honey, I love you. I love you,” Louis said. “You’re my best friend, I’ll always love you.”

“Baby,” Liam groaned, his voice breaking. “Fuck, fuck, I’m too close, so close—”

“Can feel you Liam. Just you.” Louis moved under Harry, his eyes closed, his fingertips touching the mobile screen. “Only you.”

“Louis, I’m…fuck, fuck, I can’t wait.” The steady sound of Liam’s hand changed and there was a gasp, held breath and then a long exhalation.

“That’s it,” Louis said softly. “I know your breath. You feel so good, coming inside of me, Li.”

“Lou, Lou, oh God. Fuck, I love you so much. So much.”

Harry pushed into Louis one more time and held himself there. Don’t come don’t, don’t this isn’t you, no no, he commanded.

Liam breathed heavy and husky through the line and finally moaned, “Louis, baby…”

“Don’t want to move, Li—”

“Shit, Lou, I miss you.” Liam groaned and shifted, “So much come… It’s been a while since…yeah.”

“I know, want to keep you inside of me, all of you,” Louis said.

“Can I tell him… Can he…?” Liam said, making Harry’s heart skip. “Do you need to switch positions?”

“No, I’m good here,” Louis said. “Under you.”

“Us. Under _us_ ,” Liam said. “You there, Harry?”

Harry brushed tears from his eyes and spoke. “I am, I am.”

“Harry, go—the way you need to.”

Harry hesitated. “Are you sure? He…this is… We’re here for you, Liam.”

“Harry…” Liam drew his name out, like he was pulling taffy. “I can’t take care of him like you do.”

A sob wracked through Harry’s body and Louis nodded and said, “Listen to him, sweetie.”

Harry took a steadying breath before he slammed into Louis, who arched under him, lifting his head from the pillow. Harry’s thighs trembled and he slipped against the sheen of sweat on Louis’ skin.

“Harry, yes, that,” Louis said. “Yes, that.”

Harry thrust in and out quickly. “I can’t, I can’t wait, this—it’s too hard.”

“Don’t wait,” Liam said. “Don’t wait.”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” Harry muttered. Louis was whispering something Harry couldn’t hear. He surged forward, and fell apart inside of Louis. Harry grabbed at his shoulders, then his forearms, hanging on, keeping himself inside, cock trembling and energy coursing through his bones. His words were full and low-pitched. “Oh God, Liam, thank you.”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you.” It was Louis, that’s what he was saying. Quietly, not meant to be heard by anyone else. Harry wondered if Liam could hear him, across the ocean.

“I think I should be thanking you,” Liam said.

Harry shook his head against Louis’ back. “No, no, I mean…for Louis. Thank you for Louis.”

Louis sighed and squirmed and Harry slipped out of him and rolled into his back, arms spread. Jesus. Louis rolled over as well and placed the phone between them. ‘You OK?’ he asked Harry soundlessly. Harry nodded and reached for Louis’ hand, holding it in his own.

“Liam, I don’t want… Do you want to go?” Louis asked. “I’m not ready yet.”

Liam laughed. “Kind of want to just stay here a little longer, if that’s OK.”

“Can I talk to you? Just us?” Harry asked. He looked at Louis, touched his chest. “Is that OK?”

“Louis, that OK with you?” Liam said.

“I won’t let Liam go until you get to talk to him, too,” Harry said. “Promise.”

Louis swooped down and kissed Harry’s cheek. “Yeah, you two talk, I’ll take a shower.” He stood and stretched, supple and loose.

“Sounds good,” Liam said.

“Love you,” Harry said, leaning to smack Louis’ butt. He picked up the mobile and pressed the speaker button off. “Just us, Liam, thanks for talking to me alone.”

“I wanted to talk, too. I… I meant it, thank you. And…” Liam sighed. “I really didn’t call for this, I swear—”

“Stop, Liam.” Harry picked at the sheet, twisting a bit of it between his fingers. He glanced at the en suite door and heard the water run in the tub. “Listen, I meant what I said. Thank you. For sharing Louis with me—all of the time.”

“He really loves you, Harry. I know he does.”

“I know, but he loves you, too. And I do too. I…” Harry rolled over onto his stomach, lifting himself onto his arms. “I know our friendship wasn’t always the easiest…at the beginning…”

“It was nothing against you, you know? It was…he’d been hurt too many times. And…” Liam cleared his throat. “Hurt by me, too. I didn’t want that again for him.”

“I know. And I… I couldn’t live up to you.”

“What?”

“Liam, you know him in a way I can’t ever know him. And I… I was a little jealous at the time.” Harry rushed on, “I’m not now, but I was then, which is why I was a little cold to you.”

Liam laughed. “You weren’t cold, we just…needed to figure each other out.”

“Yeah, I think so,” Harry said, contemplative. “Hey! Is D.C. really that bad?”

“Ugh, I really do hate it.”

“We can send you a care package, some foods and stuff?”

“God, what a great idea—can I check Amazon, since the post is so expensive, and then give you a list of what I want?”

“That’s perfect,” Harry said. “And I know before you left, we mentioned visiting, the both of us, but if we can’t quite scrape together the funds, can I just send Lou? For a week or a long weekend, maybe?”

Liam inhaled sharply. “You know we won’t—I mean, this was a one-time—”

“Oh God, I’m not worried about that!” Harry said. “He… He won’t tell you how much he misses you. But he does, and you just… I’ve never heard you so upset, Liam. I worry about you.”

“I… I would really like that, Harry.”

“Don’t tell him! Let me check our accounts first, OK? Send me your work schedule, let’s surprise him.”

“Surprise him?” Liam said.

“Yeah, do you think he’d mind?”

“No, I think he’d kill us both.”

Harry chuckled. “Probably.” The water stopped, and Harry heard the metallic slide of the shower curtain rings on the bar. “Hey, he’s done with his shower. Let me give you to him, OK?”

“OK,” Liam said. “Wait. Are we… Are you really OK?”

“I swear, I am.” Harry walked towards the bathroom. “And I love you, Liam. I mean it.”

“I love you, too,” Liam answered. “And thank you.”

Harry rapped on the door and whispered, “You’re welcome.” The door swung open, and Louis stood naked, rubbing his hair with a towel. “Here he is. Be careful on the tube! Bye!”

Liam laughed. “I’ll try to avoid the fires. Bye!”

Harry handed Louis the phone and kissed him on the cheek. “I’ll be in the living room, love,” he said. “Take your time.”

“Thanks, love you, sweetie.” Louis winked and smacked the towel against Harry’s hips, then held the phone to his ear. “Hey, Liam…”

Harry pulled the door closed and padded across the bedroom floor to find his clothes. He put on his jeans last and felt for the note in his pocket, poking the corners of the small square. He rummaged through his nightstand drawer for a glue stick.

Harry picked up his journal and sat on the edge of the bed. This would only take a minute. As Harry glued the note onto a fresh sheet, Louis’ voice travelled through the door, muffled and soft.

“Yeah, I’m OK, you?… I’m sure he’s fine… I love you, he does, too… I know. God, D.C. sounds awful, just awful…”

Harry closed the journal and carried it with him as his left the room, closing the bedroom door with a quiet _click_. Harry leaned against the door and held the worn leather book against his heart. His eyes rolled skyward. “Thank you. I love him, and him. Both of them,” he whispered. “Thank you for sending them to me.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> The idea for this fic was percolating when I read a [prompt](http://fyotpprompts.tumblr.com/post/149089348966/say-you-miss-me-even-if-its-a-lie-just-say) that really became the turning point for the fic.
> 
> Thank you [@heavab](http://hevab.tumblr.com/) for Britpicking this for me. Your suggestions are always fantastic and I love that you'll read anything I throw at you. Thank you!
> 
> Thank you [@twopoppies](https://twopoppies.tumblr.com/) for making the picture collage for the [rebloggable art post](http://gettingaphdinlarry.tumblr.com/post/149687309911/say-you-miss-me-even-if-its-a-lie-8139-words). You have an incredible eye for detail. Much love.
> 
> Finally, a massive thank you to [@myownsparknow](http://myownsparknow.tumblr.com/). What can I say? You asked me question after question until I figured out exactly where each character was coming from. And then you constantly pushed me, and refused to let me hide. You really took this from something I was proud of and happy with to something I'm truly thrilled with. I really feel like this is our fic. Thank you.
> 
> I can be contacted on [Tumblr](http://gettingaphdinlarry.tumblr.com/). I love to chat!


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